Encountering death

Long ago in 2008 I clearly remember that maniac episode of mine.I had gone berserk for no particular reason with my family,especially my husband as he was always the target to my problems.It started with difference of options as usual and I got hyper in the whole episode.My favourite attention seeking technique would be driving out as I would not try to understand anyone trying to put sense in me or helping me out of my misery in those maniac episodes.So confidentally I took my car keys and speed away from home thinking it will ease away my situation.I at that time didn't know I'll be in for a rude shock.

As I'm a very good and attentive driver usually, I took of thinking I'll manage myself.Put on my radio and kept a watch on my cell,waiting for my hubby to call.I kept driving away and when I didn't get a call,I got even more furious as it was almost 2 pm.I then called my people and even tried my hubby's cell but in vain.They had got used to dealing with me and knew I was driving and were giving me time to cool off.During my maniac episodes,attention seeking and self pity were the only two important feelings for me.In doing my multitasking I was also driving fast as it was night time.My cell fell off from my hand at that time,and while I tried picking it up,in a fraction of a second I went and banged into the left side.A parked truck I remember it was.My airbags came open and I almost for five seconds passed out.I clearly remember seeing things cloudy in those five seconds, and then when I came back it was blood on my forehead as I banged on the steering and burns on my hands due to the bursting of the air bags.I was in pain and my cell too I couldn't locate.In that pain I was relieved that other than me no other living thing or animal was hurt.I was in shock, but I don't know till today how I got the strength to drive back home.As I reached home, my husband gave me first aid while I was sobbing in fear and in pain.He was worried and questioned me if there was anyone I harmed and I assured him about it.

I thank my stars today that I got to see those 5 seconds of bliss.Don't exactly know it was meeting death or a blackout yet.A friendly advice to my bipolar friends,please learn to tame and control your emotions during such maniac episodes.We can't get lucky all the time:)



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