Tag Archives: bipolar

Positively taming bipolar

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This is my own experience of positively taming bipolar!! At the age of seven my mom was told by my paediatric I need to see a counsellor,but due to myths, silent social stigma and not too much of acceptance of the newly found mental Illnesses,my family was skeptical in doing so.We lived in India, City Mumbai and it was in the 80’s.I was a very different and difficult child to deal with,a tom boy who was not interested in studies,but a voracious reader of mills and boons,James Hardly chase,Archie comics,asterix,chacha chowdhary,supandi,tintin,Richie rich.Later my liking to reading made me read Sidney Sheldon books,Jeffrey archer,Mario Puzo and many more.Music was one on my likes too.From childhood my parents and siblings taught me to be strong and a fighter as I was the youngest and very sensitive.10 years younger than my sister and 7 years younger to my brother.Our home conditions itself taught us to be survivors.Thanks to my amazing papa who had a reading habit and we three kids got attracted to books.Thanks to my mummy who always believed in doing good.

I got in love with the man of my dreams.Tall dark and handsome character which existed in my imagination.Words fall short to explain my husband as he is the best.We borne a girl child and a boy.Today we are proud parents and my family is complete.Yes more than I got tortured I was the tormentor though unknowingly.I always for some time after my medications stopped, asked my GOD why me?I saw my pain and my 37 years slipping away,saw my admissions to rehabs,my bloated self,my scars,my pain(all of it as ladies face even pms).Had blocked my mind to feel sorry for my husbands and kids sufferings as they lived with me.My whole family’s sacrifices and pain.My doctor who I second to GOD always.Thanks to my fathers science who’s no more,my brother and sisters numerology,my mom and sister in laws constant positivity and guidance,the amazing support of my husband and inlaws,my kids who love me today,loads of good relatives,old classmates,best friends and last but not the least my 2 beauties,my four legged babies Feedo and fluffy.

Having dealt with 37 years of unwanted negativity which if controlled on time could have been prevented,today this year started of with my blog on 6th jan and very soon lot on my mind.I search for solace in my mind as I know sky ain’t the limit the mind is.Have faith and I’m sure of my love and support.Learnt to tame my own bipolar knowing and challenging my dirty mind to come out.Its tamed so well by my good self,my reading knowledge,my family’s love and support and my survivor instincts that I have the urge to reach many alike me.I am blessed forever and my wish is that you stay blessed!!

When there’s a will GOD guides the way

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1993 it was love at first sight for me.Cast differences,immaturity on my behalf,just left convent school and felt like a free bird in a coed college.Met my now husband through a common friend and then all that followed was one perfect being deeply in love with a surprised bipolar personality( that’s me).We continued our true love for three long beautiful years convincing and trying to elope if given a deaf ear.Out love was pure and so in 1996 we got traditionally married and became man and woman.Was beautiful for the first year as we created our bundle of joy,our daughter in 1997.Yes those days people were not so career oriented and though both our family’s were not very well to do we all had one thing in common “love and unity”.Postpartum depression hit my already existing bipolar.Needless to explain the pain,sufferings and helplessness in the whole family.Things got a little settled inside me due to the 6 shock treatments that were prescribed by my physiatrist.I was 23 then,when the urge to make my family complete started bothering only me.My hubby and our whole family was against it as they were told another delivery would make me land into an asylum!!!

It was my deep desire and strong faith in GOD that I delivered a pre-matured baby boy in the seventh month.Weak and tiny was our son due to the heavy medications I had taken.He was born at 1:04 and for three minutes the doctors and me didn’t hear his crying.Thanks to science they injected him and got him into this world.It was my faith in GOD and I knew it.When he was 24 days old he had already been pricked 19 times due to his two repeated febrile seizures.Looking at his pain made me forget my own bipolar pain.His first word was out when he was 4.Speech therapy and again my faith in GOD made our son the most cleverest handsome hunk.My bipolar was a member too while both our kids were growing.

Today we are proud parents of a beautiful 16 year old daughter and a normal speaking 13 year old taller than his own parents son!!! When I look back into our family history,I have just a few regrets about some of our family members taking their voyage to heaven and a little regrets for our family’s helplessness.All this only strengthens my faith in him and I know deep beneath bad times are over!!!

Urge

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Lost and waisted a lot of time understanding myself and today when I understand myself completely my fears of age and my physical attributes not being my major support provoke my impulsiveness out to the world!!!

The urge to Help me help is taking over me faster than light can travel.The silent stigma of bipolar needs awareness in the world.Please like my page on Facebook and be a part of my humble cause in spreading awareness and positivity to the so called disorder!!! Would from my heart appreciate your time and effort.Thanks and regards.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Positively-taming-bipolar/260451054123970?ref=settings