I am not Shakespeare but a big fan of his words!! Neither have I totally succeeded in implanting all his sayings into my world,but I am a firm believer in trying and I believe a particular time is planned for each one of us to receive our well deserved solace for which our efforts felt like eternity.I am 38 today and don’t have much repent when I look back.My illness was off course a part of me, but today I feel,the almighty could not have given me everything ready on a platter.I use to at times question him as to why me? What had I done so wrong that you make me suffer so much? He was as for everyone silent to my pleas.Most of my life I thought I loved people and could say and do anything and everything as I thought they loved me back too.Today I see it totally differently.I feel it was only their love for me that made them dance to my tunes as they only knew to give and my love was only a stubborn demand into forcing them to do what they did for me.
Like the saying goes its “never to late”!! I’m happy and extremely thankful for what GOD had planned for me.I am grateful and feel blessed he made me see things which now give peace to my inner me.As I feel contented inside I try as much as possible not to “EXPECT” from anyone as I love surprises.Silence has the power to get you what you desire.
WHEN YOU GIVE AND DONT EXPECT ANYTHING BACK THATS LOVE
BUT IF YOU GIVE AND EXPECT A RETURN IT’S AN INVESTMENT
It’s an ecosystem we all live in,the mightier and bad feed on the weak and good.When it comes to us humans,all our five fingers are not the same too,so then why do we have great expectations from others.When we interact with our kind,inside our mind we come to conclusions with the first meet up itself.If we somehow get good vibes we start expecting and if we get negative vibes we start avoiding.While GOD created us,we humans created an never ending list of emotions that only got us caught up like a spider in a cobweb.We thought love felt good but then realised it hurts and also has a cousin called hate.Greed was good until it was just to satisfy our organs for them to function.Being rich is a good feeling if the down are not shown they are poor and helpless. Punishment,cruelty,sadism,torture,dominance,ill-treatment,are as ugly as they sound and imbalance my mind!!!
My experiences of my bipolar days were very challenging,dreadful and scary.Today I feel my parents karma’s always saved me from the worst to happen.I then in my worst conditions have suffered,speculated with my own life and challenged death a lot of times.Like karma has it’s own rules and we get back what we served,I was saved always due to my parents being good to people who were not so good to them.As a child I was always taught never to feel jealous of my friends who had better things than me but feel happy they are fortunate.Then I use to feel sad and angry inside but followed what my parents preached as I use to see them practicing it.Today I’m glad I wasn’t a rebel and absorbed the positivity my parents gave me then.It helped me survive and was a catalyst in making my daughter and son good human beings.