At 18 I knew you were the one
At 39 I feel proud of you
In thick and thin you stood by me
There were chances you could flee away
But commitment and love made you stay
The odd couple were we
Our kids made our bonding strong
Our pain made us grow
A poetry is just a way to words
Open my heart and you will know
Your just not my need but my strength
Without you I can’t see myself
We were made for each other
Nineteen years is just the beginning
With you I want to grow old
Love you for your nature
Hope to take my last breth before you
I have always wondered wether peoples minds play games with them even if they don’t have any mental illness.Have spoken to a lot of friends and family’s and have come to the conclusion that “YES” their minds too play games in twisting and turning thoughts but not to the level of a person suffering from bipolar personality disorder or any other mental sickness.There comes a stage when there is no longing to do any work,the body feels double the weight,hunger increases,body swells and last but not the least the moods are fluctuating highly.Being a bipolar myself,I can tell you it’s a very difficult and uncontrolled situation,where in one is forced to be a slave of the negative mind and irrational behaviour is out at its best.It is very saddening to be in such a state and for ones closed ones to watch someone behave in that illogical states.For more than 15 years I suffered,not knowing how to tackle situations.It was for the love and support of my family that I am still surviving.
It is my humble request to all my readers who suffer from bipolar disorder or have some one in their circles who suffer from it to be very cordial and patient with such people.It is a mental disorder and it is not done on purpose.Talking,counselling,giving love,motivating and getting the person out of their difficult moods is the key to helping someone with such minds.Medication too is important if the art of self controlling the mind is not possible.
1993 it was love at first sight for me.Cast differences,immaturity on my behalf,just left convent school and felt like a free bird in a coed college.Met my now husband through a common friend and then all that followed was one perfect being deeply in love with a surprised bipolar personality( that’s me).We continued our true love for three long beautiful years convincing and trying to elope if given a deaf ear.Out love was pure and so in 1996 we got traditionally married and became man and woman.Was beautiful for the first year as we created our bundle of joy,our daughter in 1997.Yes those days people were not so career oriented and though both our family’s were not very well to do we all had one thing in common “love and unity”.Postpartum depression hit my already existing bipolar.Needless to explain the pain,sufferings and helplessness in the whole family.Things got a little settled inside me due to the 6 shock treatments that were prescribed by my physiatrist.I was 23 then,when the urge to make my family complete started bothering only me.My hubby and our whole family was against it as they were told another delivery would make me land into an asylum!!!
It was my deep desire and strong faith in GOD that I delivered a pre-matured baby boy in the seventh month.Weak and tiny was our son due to the heavy medications I had taken.He was born at 1:04 and for three minutes the doctors and me didn’t hear his crying.Thanks to science they injected him and got him into this world.It was my faith in GOD and I knew it.When he was 24 days old he had already been pricked 19 times due to his two repeated febrile seizures.Looking at his pain made me forget my own bipolar pain.His first word was out when he was 4.Speech therapy and again my faith in GOD made our son the most cleverest handsome hunk.My bipolar was a member too while both our kids were growing.
Today we are proud parents of a beautiful 16 year old daughter and a normal speaking 13 year old taller than his own parents son!!! When I look back into our family history,I have just a few regrets about some of our family members taking their voyage to heaven and a little regrets for our family’s helplessness.All this only strengthens my faith in him and I know deep beneath bad times are over!!!