It all started on 6th January 2014,my first day on WordPress.I had said no to medicines since March 2012 and two years later almost same time I was put for just 5 days on severely strong medications due to stress, I thought I could manage on my own and pain which was unbearable.The need to do all things myself and have everything perfect was my cobweb and after repeated warnings and signals about my closed ones telling me I was on the edge,I gave all of them a deaf ear.There were many factors that aggravated my bipolar like my husband travelling for 5 days a week for his work schedules,my father-in-laws prostrate cancer surgery,my kids final exams,our 18th anniversary,my blog and last but not the least my pms and over sensitive stomach and back aches.I was very reckless while dealing with my own body in the past and thought it’s always supported me in thick and thin.Now that I’m 38 I realised I’m not getting any younger.
Due to the articles I wrote,I use to be awake late night and my sleep had vanished.I felt responsible for my kids,my home and my family during the day time.All this created a lot of pain in me and my confusions started.I wanted to be there for everyone without telling them I was suffering inside.Too many thoughts in my mind and excessive talking made my husband realise I needed help.He started counselling me,telling me to organise my time and get my biological factors right.I behaved rude with him and everyone who tried to help me telling them they don’t understand what I’m going through.It was the last straw that broke the camels back, when I was struck with a water infection,migraine and high blood pressure.I then knew I was sick as I had severe diarrhoea and vomiting,food was impossible to get into my system.More than a week I lived on water,fruit juices and curd with minimum to eat that too home made vegetarian food.I was stubborn as I dint want to take medications which from past two years were invisible.Since something had to be done my husband took me to a local doctor to cure my viral infection, and then to my psychiatrist.He explained the whole concept to me very well and I was convinced with the medications.
Had taken medicines for long years so was also little skeptical and tried seeing the side effects on google.It was a waste as my husband rightly said “extra analysis leads to paralysis”! I’m feeling completely good and healthy again,as this Friday my verdict to stop medicines or taper them gradually will be out! Was always called a sleeping beauty all my life so my inner instincts are kept positive by myself.I would love to thank once again my whole family and friends for their unconditional support. Would also like to thank all my amazing friends here on WordPress and twitter who were a part of my confusions and silliness.I feel blessed to have support from places which I never expected ever.
Bipolar personality disorder is an illness of the mind.We need to be the ruler of our minds and not slaves to it.Due to medications drinking ample of water and liquids is essential.Bipolar is like diabetes or blood pressure and one must never ignore medications.Going to a counsellor for venting out feelings on a regular basis is very helpful.I personally feel life is too beautiful to love, and a waste of time to hate.