Monthly Archives: January 2014

Destinations

20140131-202819.jpg

Some for pleasure
Others for earning bread
Some in denims others in suits
Some discussing experiences
Others gossiping neighbours

Some sipping coffee
Others window shopping
Some tackling kids queries
Others wondering when they grew
Some alone others on a phone

Some In fear others looking for a gear
Some staring others deep in thoughts
Some with books others with apples
Some leaving sweat others reaching heights
Some in arrivals others in departures

Some regulars others first time
Some bold and beautiful
Others not so fortunate
Some in a fight with others
Others fighting their own mind

The clouds weigh no caste or creed
Jitters with the rags and rich
We hope the pilot has earned his degree
Somehow pass our time with prayers at the back of our mind
There we land and start to explore the already planned

Advertisements

Amavasya ~ New moon

20140131-183640.jpg

Scientifically I’m clueless as to the knowledge of the new moon.Being bought up in India,as a child whenever I was curious and wanted some excitement I would catch hold of some elderly person and force them to tell me scary and beyond life stories.Yes I was never the barbie doll playing girl.My neighbours and playmates then called me a tom boy.I remember me getting frightened while going to bed after the story’s,but still I never stopped questioning and demanding for more.Here in India there is a lot we do while preparing for the new moon and the day it arrives.Havan, poojas,keeping a fast,wearing the proper coloured clothes,and most importantly asking for peace and serenity on that day.We don’t carry out any important work on that day.Marriages and celebrations are kept for the auspicious days.

While all the above was embedded well in my brain cells,I till today am clueless wether the full moon has got to do something with mental illness.Wether it’s just a psychology I invited or the heavy feeling my body gets when it’s the full moon is something I just stopped trying to figure out.Being a bipolar for so long I trust my instincts and experience on it,though I know there are myths and science involved in getting some answers.As if bipolar mood swings ain’t enough the moon gets into a shading mood.

Destroyer

20140131-124909.jpg

It was all balanced it was all fine
Was wondering is it really happening
It was all merry and we all were happy
I was really high so was she
Then came the unexpected hit
I wanted to manage but she wanted to react
I tried but in vane and she started the pain
She digs inside me and I become her slave
I then am made to do as she desires
She succeeds in her mission
I’m confused in her fusion
My blood silences her hunger
I pity myself yet I’m blamed

Nostalgic Venice

20140131-080201.jpg

Venice a seaport in NE Italy build on numerous islands.A place if asked about I would strongly recommend to go exclusively with your lover or husband,but off course kids too just for the first time.I was fortunate that my eyes experienced the beauty in the lagoons of Venice,yet still crave to someday elope away just alone with my husband.118 small islands separated by canals and linked by bridges.Being there for four full days dint seem like doing justice to the place.A small populated island actually made me miss my land, but at the same time I felt I was breathing in more deeply.The first look of Venice my eyes captured were so mesmerising that carrying my own luggage and walking through the lanes dint feel tiring.The small coffee shops,bars and pubs were all so inviting that I wanted to run to my hotel room dump my luggage and sip some liquids and enjoy and relish every moment.Wanted to be more out rather than wasting time under the roof there.

Our holiday planner had planned all our days and had also made sure with our pre booked boat ride coupons to travel within the islands.All types of people from different walks of life in one boat,but the only common thing we all had there were smiles on our faces and the look of love.I believe Venice has that power.There are many attractions there like epiphany cathedral,Venice theatre and the triangle inn but I and my family got madly attracted to the gondola.A boat ride were one man rows the boat while singing and the rest are listening and experiencing heaven on earth.Sitting there just got me admiring GODs another creation with mans efforts.The scenic beauty felt like a dominating aura screeching and compelling me to never leave.After seven years of being there Im still under the spell.

Selfless love

20140130-051554.jpg

I am the blessed and fortunate one to have the best mother,though difficulties in life forced me to wonder if my mom could have the same thought about me.As a child I was very sweet,stubborn,demanding and difficult to please,but since I was my mothers daughter she too possessed almost the same qualities but in the positive matured ways.She was sweeter than me,never ever gave up on me,demanded that I possess more of good emotions being lenient and though in difficulties pleased me with all that I demanded.I was clearly a troubled child and my mom was warned that by my paediatric at the age when I was seven.Due to the stigma then and her fight with her life, I wasn’t shown to a psychiatrist.

Today I’m a proud mother of a daughter.I call her my mirror image.While giving her birth I was hit by postpartum psychosis.Needless to mention,I was a mother in disguise of a monster.I always for more than 14 years of her innocent days made her feel guilty of her existence and the prime reason of my miseries.As GOD has it’s own ways of dealing,my husband was the balance and support of both mother and daughter.Faith having its own mood swings favoured me and while it was not too late let me improve my relation with my daughter.Me being in guilt for my monster mother ways,made the best of what was offered by our faith.It was a 360 degree change for my daughter to realise and absorb her newly found mother,but faith had to prove itself and again today I’m blessed like my own mother.To all my daughters teenager problems I have the best experience and my own mothers will and strengths while dealing with her.I would love to boast just one solution I give my daughter when sometimes her grades suffer due to her age,I tell her it’s you who have to be someone talented and career oriented to sustain in your life,I’m a mother and my love will not increase or decrease with your fluctuating grades.I will always forever love you.

The ship~ I trusted always

20140128-233500.jpg

Friends are faiths mercy to us
To prove its innocence
Faith names it luck
I’m fortunate I’m blessed with it
Luck has it’s own conditions of hard work
My faith wasn’t in favour of me
I started believing luck
Luck appreciated me
Favoured me a ride in its ship
The ride is until death do us apart
We are travellers with our flaws
Let the titanic sink
My friends will be a part

Lonely ~ The two of us

20140128-180455.jpg

In this stigma of silence
Lonely are the two of us
They say I stand one out of six
I feel two in my self
They assure to treat me
But fail in doing so
My rage gets the better of me
They get a chance to jail me
I plead for mercy
They liquidise me
Their ways scared me
I learnt to deal with me
They say ask for help
I learnt to manage myself