Mind games

I have always wondered wether peoples minds play games with them even if they don’t have any mental illness.Have spoken to a lot of friends and family’s and have come to the conclusion that “YES” their minds too play games in twisting and turning thoughts but not to the level of a person suffering from bipolar personality disorder or any other mental sickness.There comes a stage when there is no longing to do any work,the body feels double the weight,hunger increases,body swells and last but not the least the moods are fluctuating highly.Being a bipolar myself,I can tell you it’s a very difficult and uncontrolled situation,where in one is forced to be a slave of the negative mind and irrational behaviour is out at its best.It is very saddening to be in such a state and for ones closed ones to watch someone behave in that illogical states.For more than 15 years I suffered,not knowing how to tackle situations.It was for the love and support of my family that I am still surviving.

It is my humble request to all my readers who suffer from bipolar disorder or have some one in their circles who suffer from it to be very cordial and patient with such people.It is a mental disorder and it is not done on purpose.Talking,counselling,giving love,motivating and getting the person out of their difficult moods is the key to helping someone with such minds.Medication too is important if the art of self controlling the mind is not possible.

Bipolar dreams

A life of a person having bipolar personality disorder ain't an easy life.Living with mood swings at all the times,fighting with the good and bad that exist in the mind, having to take heavy medications and living up to society rules.All said and done bipolars are human too and they too have feelings, must say more than normal people.They have dreams and aspirations too.Heavy medications and facing family and friends for a bipolar person is one difficult task.Family and friends and acquaintances should be very cordial and understanding as it's the most important moral support for a person suffering the disorder.There are many people with bipolar who are working people too.If one knows a person is suffering from bipolar, it clearly explains the behaviour of the person.For some who are not aware of people suffering the disorder,it might seem like the person is either weird or having a lot of attitude as the mood swings are the main cause in this disorder.At one moment a bipolar person will be hyper and excitited and will say all the good things and the next moment you can be ready for a shock as the bipolar person can either throw tantrums and get difficult or go extremely in depression and become quiet.It is a very tacky situation for an onlooker as bipolar people can look very poised and comfortable on the outside.It is their minds that play games with them.

Being a bipolar has it's own positive sides too. People with the disorder are very creative,loving and affectionate as their heart and body's go through a lot of thoughts and feelings.One must encourage such people to pursue their dreams as they need a lot of motivations and appreciations.Since they go through a lot of mood swings their relations with family and friends is not so much up to the mark.Not all people can understand them at all times.It is my personal feeling that one can help oneself.Mood swings and anger can be controlled as it's all in the mind.It can be controlled well in a lot of ways!

1) Taking the prescribed medications

2) Seeing a psychiatrist from time to time

3) Knowing and self realising a situation

4) keeping oneself busy be it work or play

5) Venting out by seeing a counsellor once a fortnight

6) Trying not to get into arguments with people without ryme or reason

7) Talking and sharing your difficulties with family and close friends

8) Asking for help when not comfortable doing certain things

9) Having a pet dog or a cat really helps

10) Channelising your creative inbuilt hobbys or talents in the right direction

Nothing is “IMPOSSIBLE! The word impossible itself if given space is spelt as,”IM POSSIBLE”! A bipolar person has to tame their two minds with positive thoughts,and get it in harmony with each other.Understanding that the minds go through some chemical imbalances, one must accept the reality and not be a slave to their minds.One must pursue their dreams and truly believe in themselves, having the self confidence by trying and putting efforts in what one likes.Be it any hobby or an inbuilt talent one has to give it a try by channelising ones energy in the right direction.Sucess is a blend of hard work and good time invested.

 

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A ship you can always trust

Bipolar personality disorder is an illness of the minds.Its fighting with oneself constantly,every minute there's a change of mind and every minute there are mood swings.Its a difficult mental illness,which needs a lot of love,support and medicines.The people on the other side really even if they try hard, fail at times to keep up with bipolar people.The patterns of thoughts,emotions,feelings and moods are so much in contrast that at times the ones suffering the illness too get tired with one selfs.It at times gets uncontrollable and messy.Some who are blessed and have the support live on and some who don't get proper guidance and love and support of their families and friends end up in rehabs and then for some it's suicide.

My plea to my readers is understand bipolar people, they are very highly sensitive people.Dont fear to talk to them,instead talk openly and freely to them, for them to feel good and important.Their thought processing is very high which makes them highly intellectual people.Their ideas are very innovative.Wait for the right moment,if one of them is in a bad mood.Like happiness comes after knowing unhappiness.Their moods alter and once again they are all hail and hearty to do anything for anyone.They forget things said in bad moods very quickly as it's their evil mind saying all those things they didn't mean.They go on a guilt trip any which ways,as they know the harm is already done.Dont make them feel more guilty, instead support them and you'll be in for a surprise.All they need is being appreciated for their good mood swings and not being judged for their bad mood swings.Its difficult but with patience and a strong normal mind can be dealt and handled with care.Any type of drug or alchol abuse should be kept at hands distance from them.Bpd people should also self realise that any over use of drugs or alchol only stimulates the brains more and it's is not recommended.

Bipolar friendship is the most trusted ship one can be in. A bipolar person due to their over sensitivity makes a lot of friends,but due to the same reason looses them too.According to me,people who maintain friendships with bipolar people are the strongest friends and know help can be required at 2 pm too.Bipolars can be trusted and have faith upon.They are sufferers of their minds and look out for only safe and handy friendship.Listen to them in their bad times and they will give you their best in their good times.Stay blessed.

 

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Hardships= Postivity

We bipolar people have so many emotions to express…. We have the capability of getting panicked and creating havoc in and around everybody who associates with us.Well I'm not writing something you all don't know,but this if self realised in a few minutes can be taken care of, that too depending on the support of our immediate family.If we pull the strings too much or for that matter pull a rubber band too much it turns to loose its elascity.Its an illness of the mind.Its uncontrollable when our bilogical factors are not taken care of.Our medicines sholud not be tampered with by our selfs, or thrown away by some.Bipolar personality disorder should be treated like bold pressure or diabities.Medicines are a part and parcel of every illness,be it mental or physcical.Please don't shy away from your own illness.Speak it out,it only helps.

See the positive side of bipolar.When our moods are good, and everything goes according to our heart and minds,strangers we meet,are amazed by our humour and wit.We have so many feelings and because of that we are extra caring and go out of our ways to help.Know your selfs, it is important that a bipolar realises his or her follies and tames their minds with positive thoughts.Find your own happiness.For me it's watching movies, listening to music, cooking,driving.When one realizes one is on the edge,don't trouble your own loved ones,but realize they are our support systems.

Be kind to one and all because out of the blue the people come in abundance and bless us from all corners of the world.Stay blessed forever:)

 

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Encountering death

Long ago in 2008 I clearly remember that maniac episode of mine.I had gone berserk for no particular reason with my family,especially my husband as he was always the target to my problems.It started with difference of options as usual and I got hyper in the whole episode.My favourite attention seeking technique would be driving out as I would not try to understand anyone trying to put sense in me or helping me out of my misery in those maniac episodes.So confidentally I took my car keys and speed away from home thinking it will ease away my situation.I at that time didn't know I'll be in for a rude shock.

As I'm a very good and attentive driver usually, I took of thinking I'll manage myself.Put on my radio and kept a watch on my cell,waiting for my hubby to call.I kept driving away and when I didn't get a call,I got even more furious as it was almost 2 pm.I then called my people and even tried my hubby's cell but in vain.They had got used to dealing with me and knew I was driving and were giving me time to cool off.During my maniac episodes,attention seeking and self pity were the only two important feelings for me.In doing my multitasking I was also driving fast as it was night time.My cell fell off from my hand at that time,and while I tried picking it up,in a fraction of a second I went and banged into the left side.A parked truck I remember it was.My airbags came open and I almost for five seconds passed out.I clearly remember seeing things cloudy in those five seconds, and then when I came back it was blood on my forehead as I banged on the steering and burns on my hands due to the bursting of the air bags.I was in pain and my cell too I couldn't locate.In that pain I was relieved that other than me no other living thing or animal was hurt.I was in shock, but I don't know till today how I got the strength to drive back home.As I reached home, my husband gave me first aid while I was sobbing in fear and in pain.He was worried and questioned me if there was anyone I harmed and I assured him about it.

I thank my stars today that I got to see those 5 seconds of bliss.Don't exactly know it was meeting death or a blackout yet.A friendly advice to my bipolar friends,please learn to tame and control your emotions during such maniac episodes.We can't get lucky all the time:)

 

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Bipolar personality emergency

It all started on 6th January 2014,my first day on WordPress.I had said no to medicines since March 2012 and two years later almost same time I was put for just 5 days on severely strong medications due to stress, I thought I could manage on my own and pain which was unbearable.The need to do all things myself and have everything perfect was my cobweb and after repeated warnings and signals about my closed ones telling me I was on the edge,I gave all of them a deaf ear.There were many factors that aggravated my bipolar like my husband travelling for 5 days a week for his work schedules,my father-in-laws prostrate cancer surgery,my kids final exams,our 18th anniversary,my blog and last but not the least my pms and over sensitive stomach and back aches.I was very reckless while dealing with my own body in the past and thought it’s always supported me in thick and thin.Now that I’m 38 I realised I’m not getting any younger.

Due to the articles I wrote,I use to be awake late night and my sleep had vanished.I felt responsible for my kids,my home and my family during the day time.All this created a lot of pain in me and my confusions started.I wanted to be there for everyone without telling them I was suffering inside.Too many thoughts in my mind and excessive talking made my husband realise I needed help.He started counselling me,telling me to organise my time and get my biological factors right.I behaved rude with him and everyone who tried to help me telling them they don’t understand what I’m going through.It was the last straw that broke the camels back, when I was struck with a water infection,migraine and high blood pressure.I then knew I was sick as I had severe diarrhoea and vomiting,food was impossible to get into my system.More than a week I lived on water,fruit juices and curd with minimum to eat that too home made vegetarian food.I was stubborn as I dint want to take medications which from past two years were invisible.Since something had to be done my husband took me to a local doctor to cure my viral infection, and then to my psychiatrist.He explained the whole concept to me very well and I was convinced with the medications.

Had taken medicines for long years so was also little skeptical and tried seeing the side effects on google.It was a waste as my husband rightly said “extra analysis leads to paralysis”! I’m feeling completely good and healthy again,as this Friday my verdict to stop medicines or taper them gradually will be out! Was always called a sleeping beauty all my life so my inner instincts are kept positive by myself.I would love to thank once again my whole family and friends for their unconditional support. Would also like to thank all my amazing friends here on WordPress and twitter who were a part of my confusions and silliness.I feel blessed to have support from places which I never expected ever.

Bipolar personality disorder is an illness of the mind.We need to be the ruler of our minds and not slaves to it.Due to medications drinking ample of water and liquids is essential.Bipolar is like diabetes or blood pressure and one must never ignore medications.Going to a counsellor for venting out feelings on a regular basis is very helpful.I personally feel life is too beautiful to love, and a waste of time to hate.

Healing

Good morning☕️☕️almost sick from past 15 days drinking unknowingly im purified water with 100 fever almost daily,bad bronchitis,and headache.My both kids having their final exams with my husband travelling due to his job. Too much on my hands,as I newly started recognising my writing skills too,must say my creativity should have waited until my mothers responsibility were over

Positively taming bipolar

This is my own experience of positively taming bipolar!! At the age of seven my mom was told by my paediatric I need to see a counsellor,but due to myths, silent social stigma and not too much of acceptance of the newly found mental Illnesses,my family was skeptical in doing so.We lived in India, City Mumbai and it was in the 80’s.I was a very different and difficult child to deal with,a tom boy who was not interested in studies,but a voracious reader of mills and boons,James Hardly chase,Archie comics,asterix,chacha chowdhary,supandi,tintin,Richie rich.Later my liking to reading made me read Sidney Sheldon books,Jeffrey archer,Mario Puzo and many more.Music was one on my likes too.From childhood my parents and siblings taught me to be strong and a fighter as I was the youngest and very sensitive.10 years younger than my sister and 7 years younger to my brother.Our home conditions itself taught us to be survivors.Thanks to my amazing papa who had a reading habit and we three kids got attracted to books.Thanks to my mummy who always believed in doing good.

I got in love with the man of my dreams.Tall dark and handsome character which existed in my imagination.Words fall short to explain my husband as he is the best.We borne a girl child and a boy.Today we are proud parents and my family is complete.Yes more than I got tortured I was the tormentor though unknowingly.I always for some time after my medications stopped, asked my GOD why me?I saw my pain and my 37 years slipping away,saw my admissions to rehabs,my bloated self,my scars,my pain(all of it as ladies face even pms).Had blocked my mind to feel sorry for my husbands and kids sufferings as they lived with me.My whole family’s sacrifices and pain.My doctor who I second to GOD always.Thanks to my fathers science who’s no more,my brother and sisters numerology,my mom and sister in laws constant positivity and guidance,the amazing support of my husband and inlaws,my kids who love me today,loads of good relatives,old classmates,best friends and last but not the least my 2 beauties,my four legged babies Feedo and fluffy.

Having dealt with 37 years of unwanted negativity which if controlled on time could have been prevented,today this year started of with my blog on 6th jan and very soon lot on my mind.I search for solace in my mind as I know sky ain’t the limit the mind is.Have faith and I’m sure of my love and support.Learnt to tame my own bipolar knowing and challenging my dirty mind to come out.Its tamed so well by my good self,my reading knowledge,my family’s love and support and my survivor instincts that I have the urge to reach many alike me.I am blessed forever and my wish is that you stay blessed!!

Guardians helplessness

A bipolar persons life is a blend of always two,not less and not more.Good and bad,sad and happy,love and hate,mood swings and difficulties in choosing the right.We bipolar feel another me inside us,refer to her or him as the one who’s to blame.We feel slaves to our master.Our mood swings are depended on how pleased and properly fed is our inner me.We flatter and pamper our inner me in order to be in good books with them.We bipolar feel protected and guarded as our inner me to us is like a white knight.For me she was my protector in my childhood when I was punished by my teachers and bullied by my friends.She guarded me against male lust when I was a teenager,she was always there when tears rolled down my cheeks.I started getting comfort and solace in myself and referred to her as my only guardian angel who understood me.As a child whenever I was unhappy and wrong,I knew no one else but she would understand me.

Today blame it on my maturity,I’ve chosen to be a rebel to my childhood so called guardian angel.I don’t say I hate her today,but I’ve given her a space in me to acknowledge her,and to prove my loyalty to her.Today I understand all that she did for me,had it not been her strengths and power I would be a week and helpless person.She came in me as my protector and I respected her and while I fed my existence she fed on my thoughts.She was good until she thought she was my only sole protector.Jealousy and hatred hit her when I found my true love and got in a commitment with him.My marriage made her uncomfortable with the thoughts that a third person could guide me my way.She was going through her second childhood and became helpless and started defending herself by getting rage in me.She made me suffer due to her discomforts.For long she tortured me due to the hatred she had for my true love.My blood returned back all her sweat.Soon love won the race and I learnt to let her be in me,but today I tame her and feed her my positive thoughts.I heal her wounds by telling her what’s happened was past and let’s have a happy ending.

Amavasya ~ New moon

Scientifically I’m clueless as to the knowledge of the new moon.Being bought up in India,as a child whenever I was curious and wanted some excitement I would catch hold of some elderly person and force them to tell me scary and beyond life stories.Yes I was never the barbie doll playing girl.My neighbours and playmates then called me a tom boy.I remember me getting frightened while going to bed after the story’s,but still I never stopped questioning and demanding for more.Here in India there is a lot we do while preparing for the new moon and the day it arrives.Havan, poojas,keeping a fast,wearing the proper coloured clothes,and most importantly asking for peace and serenity on that day.We don’t carry out any important work on that day.Marriages and celebrations are kept for the auspicious days.

While all the above was embedded well in my brain cells,I till today am clueless wether the full moon has got to do something with mental illness.Wether it’s just a psychology I invited or the heavy feeling my body gets when it’s the full moon is something I just stopped trying to figure out.Being a bipolar for so long I trust my instincts and experience on it,though I know there are myths and science involved in getting some answers.As if bipolar mood swings ain’t enough the moon gets into a shading mood.